6.18.14 Pain


Okay so I’m a baby! I admit it. I’m not too proud to say it, I’m not about to deny it, it is what it is … I am a baby. A couple of days ago I woke up with a really shooting pain down the right side of my back … I guess it was more my right shoulder blade, but it doesn’t matter! It hurt! Immediately, I tried to tough it out which lasted a whole … two seconds! Before I decided I needed to see the chiropractor. After seeing the chiropractor, I realized it wasn’t going to feel better on its own so I called the next day to go to a massage therapist.

Now let me make one thing clear, there is a difference between being a baby (which I am) and being a wimp, (which I am not). Whenever I’ve confronted something like a deep tissue massage, a bad bruise, a cut, getting a tattoo on my foot, or a minor procedure, people will say “Didn’t that hurt?”  To which I laugh and reply, “Nothing’s too bad after you’ve had babies, and I’ve had two!”

So, I’m not a wimp, but I also don’t like feeling crummy. Whenever something hurts or I feel sick in the slightest, (you can ask my husband) I will go nuts trying to figure out how to make it better. After the massage therapist I saw one of my friends who is into essential oil, she put a concoction of about six extracts on my back and the smell of lemongrass, birch and peppermint wafted through the hall. I, in my overactive-imaginative state, looked at the bottles lining her table and imagined myself visiting a potion brewer in the Middle Ages. It did feel a little bit better, but I have another chiropractor appointment tomorrow, and another massage Friday.

While this may seem drastic, or even rash, I believe in holism and trying to make myself feel 100% at least 90% of the time. Thomas Edison once said that “The doctor of the future will give no medicine but will interest his patients in the care of the human frame, in diet and in the cause and prevention of disease.” While I believe in this whole heartedly, I also took three Advil – I’ve got kids to take care of, a novel to finish and a blog to write! (Not to mention the chores!) I don’t have time not to feel awesome, and if it is at all within my power, I am going to use every blessed day the Lord gave me to the fullest! But that means advocating for ourselves and dealing with it.

Too often I am saddened by people who just accept the state of things the way they are. I have an uncle who has had some severe neck and shoulder injuries, but instead of seeking out holistic remedies to his situation, he sort of turned inward and become what I would call a hermit. It makes me so sad because he was once so full of life! So what happened? And how do I never get there?  I love him, I want to bring him back to life … but he has to want to be brought back, you know?

One of my favorite poets, Rilke once reminded us to, “Let everything happened to you, beauty and terror, just keep going, no feeling is final.” I remember asking my sister why she thought we had days like this, pain in the neck days, pain in the back days, pain in the butt days that come too soon and don’t leave quick enough.  She, in her for years my elder state wisely said, “I think we have days like this to remind us to be thankful for the days that aren’t.”

So pain in the back, neck, shoulder blade: thank you for the not-so-gentle reminder of all the times you don’t hurt. And to anyone who is hurting–regardless of where (physically or mentally), my prayers go to you tonight.

Literarily yours,

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