6.24.14 Auto-IN-Correct!!!


So, once upon a year ago, I had a parent come to school to pick up his child.  We were just back from a field trip and he asked me about whether or not I knew of any good apple-picking farms in the area.  Not having been from the area, I told him I didn’t really know of any.  “No problem,” he said in his strong British accent, “I’ve just gotten the new iphone 5 so I’ll just ask Siri.”

“Siri?” I’d asked.

“Surely you know about Siri?” he said with a chuckle. 

“I’ve never actually used it,” I admitted, (at that time still a 4S girl).

“Well, let me show you then,” he said, excited to show off his new tech-toy. “I’ve had a bit of trouble getting it to understand my accent, but I think this version gets me.” Bringing the phone to his mouth, the automated voice of Siri asked how she could help him.  “Text Veronica,” he said. Then, leaning into the speaker he said, “I’m getting the kid.” Without looking, he showed me the screen proudly to display the wonders of technology recording his words, but when I looked at the screen, I stifled a giggle. It read –

I’m getting naked.”

YIKES! Thank you auto correct!  I laughed so hard, and flipped the screen in his hand to show him what was lost in translation.  “I think this version of Siri might also have trouble understanding your accent,” I giggled.

“Oh my God,” he said, over an embarrassed laugh, “I’m so sorry.  Please don’t put that in the parent files you keep.”

“No I think I’ll keep that to myself, but you might want to work on that auto correct.”

Hilarious.  I wish all auto correct mistakes were that funny, quick and easily resolved.  But alas, they are not.  I am writing this mostly to vent that I think “auto-correct” is a pain in the technological tush.  I read on quotesfrenzy.com, “Dear Auto Correct, please stop correcting my swear words you piece of shut.”  Ha!  But really, why would “does” become “dies!”  Do you know how awkward it is to say, “I really hope he does,” and have it change itself to dies?  Auto correct has probably ended some marriages by now.  I can just imagine on the line for cause of divorce, “mis-interpreted  text messages,” as the main cause.

Ironically, with the swear words, I recently had an auto correct problem in reverse.  Our neighbors were giving us some slack for our dog barking here and there to be let into the house.  Well, after a woof-woof here and a woof-woof there, we really trained ourselves to get her the first time she barked and were near paranoid about disturbing anyone.  I remember once jumping out of bed when I heard a bark, just to realize that it wasn’t even my dog; she was still in the house!  I wanted to be sure to check in with the neighbor, so I texted her and said, “Wanted to make sure that the dog barking is getting better. I heard a dog bark and ‘shot’ out of bed, but it wasn’t ours.”

Only, auto correct, in all her misdirected glory, didn’t leave the word “shot.” Any guesses what word was inserted?  Yeah … the s-word!  So now, it looked like I was cussing at my already-edgy neighbor!  I wasn’t … I swear (no pun intended)! 

If you relate to this at all, my brother-in-law informed me there is an actual website dedicated to the mistakes of auto correct and the inopportune times it happens. I’d love for you to share some of yours.  “In the classic words of John Ray, “Misery loves company,” after all.

Literarily yours, auto corrected and all,


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