8.31.14 Decisions

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“To be or not to be?”  “Should I stay or should I go?”  “Paper or plastic?”  Our culture and society is full to the brim with decisions … or should I say, “indecision.”  That is a much more accurate diagnosis.  We all suffer from it, but I’ve got to be honest, usually, I’m pretty “sure,” but sometimes, (every once in awhile) I cannot make a decision to save my life!  Today was one such day.  My husband and I went out for ice cream and instead of getting one of my usual five or so flavors I love, I stared like a complete idiot at the twenty flavors with an absolutely blank brain.  My husband had ordered a smoothie, which completely threw me off.  I mean, who orders a smoothie on ice cream night?  Lame. In any case, I was already having trouble and that made it worse.  The automated voice on the end of the drive through said, “Why don’t you just come up to the window and I’ll give you some samples.”  I felt like the complete knob I was. It reminded me of William James who said, “There is no more miserable human being than one in whom nothing is habitual but indecision.”  He was right, because I’m pretty sure I made the drive through lady miserable in my ten minute flavor choice with a parade of cars creeping in!
Thankfully, like I said, I’m not always this bad, but I do admit that making decisions is not my favorite thing in the world.  I don’t see myself as an administrator any time soon – I’m too much of a people pleaser.  I can just imagine that my hiring conversations would sound something like, “Hi, what hours would work best for you?  Do you think you’d like to do such and such or this and that?”  From what I’ve heard of my husband’s duties as a boss, that isn’t the way things really go.  Being able to delegate is what its all about, and I’m not really good at it.  I don’t like telling people what to do, but being a mother has certainly helped move things along.  In my family we have found a few helpful ways to move around our inability to make decisions.  For example, instead of arguing over what movie to watch for an hour, we choose five and each member of my family takes one away until there is only one left!  Argument over!  (Except my husband and I, we still argue over what to watch for an hour and a half.)  In terms of meals, its pretty much, you can either eat what Mommy made nicely, or eat what Mommy made begrudgingly.  Either way, you get the point.  Unfortunately, even in trying to be diplomatic, I’ve noticed indecision may be hereditary.
My daughter, bless her little five-year-old heart, is the queen of “which choice do I make?”  We can be at the store choosing a toy and she will literally say something like, “Which one would you pick if you were me?”  Whenever she starts in on the “I’m just not sure’s,” I think of my sister.  I know she’ll be reading this, so please dear know I write it with love, but good Lord … that girl can go back and forth on a question.  Sometimes when we’re shopping, I swear she pulls out this mental pros and cons list for each item in the cart.  In this department I’m pretty quick.  To the frustration of my hubby, I see it, I like it, I buy it.  Period.  Sometimes when I’m with her shopping though, I relate to a quote I saw on The Economist that said, “Is your indecision final?”  On the other hand, the girl rarely doubts herself.  Like Oswald Chambers I think she believes, “It is better to run the risk of being considered indecisive, better to be uncertain and not promise, than to promise and not fulfill.”  
Maybe if I took a little more time to consider things, I’d have less to consider later on.  But on days like these, days where I cannot pick a flavor, or a movie … I’m glad I only can’t make up my mind once in awhile, because being uncertain is exhausting, like being on a mental merry-go-round that won’t shut off.   Tonight when I thought about what to Blog about, I couldn’t make up my mind between quite a few ideas I’ve been tossing around – so I wrote about that.  
Here’s to making decisions … quickly,
Elle 

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