So there are some days that are better than others, some weeks that pass without much thought of him, or her, or any of them – the ones that I miss, the ones that are lost to this world I am still a part of. I know I mentioned it before, but there is a poem written by Scott Holland called, “Death is Nothing at All,” and while the entire thing is beautiful, there is a line that particularly resonates within me. It says, “I am I and you are you. Whatever we were to each other, that we still are.” I find comfort in those words because sometimes, I think we give death more power than it actually has. We allow it to cleave our hearts and our spirits in paralyzing ways, when, in reality, death can do no more than keep us apart physically.
While this separation is undeniably painful, tragic even, it isn’t everything. Death cannot steal memories. It cannot ruin relationships. And although we who are left behind so desperately crave the embrace of those we cannot hold, their memories are safe, forever vaulted among our most precious thoughts. What strength that provides, knowing no shadow, no darkness can touch the light they left behind.
But trust me, I still know. I know how hard it hurt in places no consoling word can reach and no sentiment can heal. There is an ebbing ache that only time lessens. So I encourage you to take one moment, one hour, one day at a time, and someday you won’t be better, but you’ll be okay. You’ll carry on, because that is what he or she or they would have wanted. Some time ago I wrote this poem for someone I will miss for the rest of my life, because the world, my world, lost a bit of its glimmer when he went away – I hope you can relate.
Just for Today
Just for today, I am going to pretend that everything is fine.
In my mind, you are well and happy living your day with that smile Iʼve craved since the day you left and took it with you.
Just for today Iʼll pretend that I saw you only yesterday,
that we had an amazing conversation (like we always did)
and that we couldnʼt meet up today,
but only because our schedules didnʼt allow it.
Just for today Iʼll pretend youʼre only a phone call or short drive away and that if I really needed to see you,
or surprise you like I have so many times before,
Just for today my heart is only a slight distance,
tucked neatly beside yours.
Today I feel joy in pretend,
and it will give me the strength for tomorrow
I must face that you are in fact gone,
worlds away …
you have carried my heart with you.
Tomorrow I must acknowledge the .
But just for today, all is well
because Iʼll pretend youʼre close
close will be enough.
I am sorry for you and anyone and everyone you are missing. But remember not to give death more power than it has. And just for today … pretend.