“I knew who I was this morning, but I’ve changed a few times since then.” -Lewis Carroll from Alice and Wonderland
So I had a much different plan for my blog tonight, it was going to be serious and soul-filling. But I stayed up until 2:30 in the morning yesterday (for reasons that seemed good at the time)! Oh, my am I tired … and wired only enough to snatch at random thoughts and questions that do not matter at all, even if I knew the answers to them or reasons behind them (which I don’t). If this is the first time you are reading my blog … I must apologize for the silliness, but as Horace once said, “Mix a little foolishness with your serious plans. It is lovely to be silly at the right moment.” And right now, at 1:03 in the morning … silly is all that I’ve got worth giving. So without further ado …
1. Why do frogs in the summertime moan like a herd of cows and then stop all-at-once when someone passes by?
2. Why do hyperboles exist? Hair dye doesn’t exactly breed confidence (even if it is spelled differently).
3. Do you think flamingos know that their backwards “knees” are actually their ankles? Yeah! Mind-blower! Look it up … it’s true!
4. How can people think that because bathroom stalls have a door, they’re automatically soundproof?
5. Why do all llamas have such terrible underbites?
6. How can people trust artichokes? Really. It seems like an ill wish to eat something containing the word “choke” in it.
7. I don’t understand people who claim to be loving but don’t like kids or animals … character flaw? I think so.
8. Why does everything sound better in French? (C’est la vie means “that’s life” but sounds so much less sarcastic somehow).
9. How in the name of all things, can a dog’s mouth possibly be statistically cleaner than a human’s? I have seen what my dog does with her mouth … let’s just say I have my doubts.
10. Why are scientific “experts” allowed to change their minds about classics like Pluto and brontosauruses?
11. It seems unfair to me that fish cannot blink. Or cry. Or sleep with their eyes closed. Man it would suck to be a fish.
12. Why are the lists of potential side-effects on medications 1,000 times more frightening than the conditions they’re trying to combat?
13. Can you really trust someone who says they’re funny? If they were … would they need to say it?
14. Does it bother anyone else to buy digital space for a technological cloud that holds all of our information and media in a place we cannot actually physically see it? Yeah … let’s trust that potential storm.
15. I’ve come to fear the indecisive, suicidal habits of squirrels crossing the road. They give me anxiety.
16. Did you know that the song of a cicada bug is so loud, that if it were placed right next to a human ear that person could have permanent hearing loss!?! Turn it down nature!
17. When people are fined $75-500 for not picking up after their dogs on a walk, who gets the money and where does it go? A city-wide beautification project perhaps?
18. Can we (in good conscience) still call it a “gift” when one re-gifts? Isn’t it more like recycling at that point?
19. You know the mathematical saying, “The shortest distance between two points is a straight line?” Well … do civil engineers and road construction teams know that too?
20. If hours in a day were distributed based on effective use and productivity … do you think I’d still be allowed my whole 24?
I encourage you to come up with your own random questions that don’t matter. Laugh like a Cheshire Cat or even the Mad Hatter himself! Remember what Lewis Carroll said, “Everyone wants some magic solution to their problem, and everyone refuses to believe in magic.” Believe in the magic of being random, goofy even. Delight in the space you allow yourself to wander. Follow the smiles.