11.16.15 Before Complicated

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When I was young, I was a much different person – we all were, I think.  And what’s more … that version of ourselves is worth remembering.

When I was little, I would sleep like a starfish, open and free.  I would draw, and doodle till my heart’s content.  I would sing and dance to the audience in my mirror. Unabashed. Unconcerned. Free.  Like my daughter, I would roll down grassy hills and spin in circles, looking to the sky until it spun.

As a girl, I would remember my dreams, and tell them to whoever cared to listen.  I would write stories without ever caring whether or not they were noticed (let alone published).  I would practice cartwheels until my legs wobbled and fall down laughing with exhaustion at my grass stains.

As a child, the most real thing in my entire world was pretend. I would imagine oceans filled with mermaids, chandelier-sparkeled ceilings, and elegant balls held in my honor.  Peanut butter and jelly was fit for kings and queens, and with my dolls and teddy, I was always in royal company.

But it was in-between lost and found that insecurity started to creep in.  Somewhere after my first good report card and the fear of not getting another – somewhere after being old enough to watch the news, and old enough to understand it –somewhere after making the team and competing for first string – somewhere after my first kiss, but before the expectation of more.

I want to go back to before complicated – back to believing anything is possible if I just believe with enough hope, wish with enough conviction, and pray with enough faith.

Even now, miles past complicated … I believe it is a choice  we have to make.  We can still wish on stars.  We can still jump on the bed when no one’s looking.  We can make snow angels and eat dessert first and skip chores for a day.  As C.W. Ceran said, “Genius is the ability to make the complicated to the simple.”  So let’s be geniuses; let’s make things simple.  Let’s try to live like we did before complicated.

Much love in the process,

Elle

 

 

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