3.28.16 Here’s to Aging Myself on Purpose


According to popular belief, Abraham Lincoln is attributed to having said, “There are no bad pictures, that’s just how your face looks sometimes.” If that is true, then crumbs! Because lately I’ve had quite a few pictures of myself where I’ve been like, NO! Do over! A semi-typical girl, even at thirty-three, I have insecurities like most women do … but all I have to do to feel better about myself is go out in public and take a good look around.

I’m not going to lie. Sometimes I wonder if being as awkward as possible has become some kind of international competition that no one invited me to. I am not in the least a “judge a book by it’s cover” kind of person, but I do have to wonder if I’m suddenly taking on the persona of an old lady, looking around at the “fashions” of younger generations. Let me elaborate.  I’m all about vintage, truly. But today I saw a girl who I could have sworn was sixty-years-old, until I saw the twenty-something girl she sat beside. The grandma-esque girl had two, white-string, pearl bracelets, a yellow “frock,” wing-tip dark glasses frames, and a dyed yellow bob that she’d curled to chin length. Then there was the boy who walked in with sand-colored hair so unbelievably poofy, he needed a two-foot diameter of space so as not to bump into anyone. I found myself wondering if they’d spent too much time in front of the mirror or not enough and immediately remembered, “Mirrors don’t lie. Lucky for you they can’t laugh either,” (funnyquotesbook.com).  

The waitress at our favorite cafe (who refuses to smile regardless of … well … anything) sports half-grown out, half-chopped “so-black-its-almost-blue hair.” All I can think is what a lopsided ponytail you must have. When you put your hair in a bun, is it like sporting a 1/2 Princess Leah look? And the masses of girls have gone from wearing leggings under a long shirt to leggings with a short shirt, thus showing off all-together more than anyone ever wanted to see including the brand, style, and color of their underpants. And to think, in the past they thought ankles showing was scandalous. Finally, the ever-present hoodie that is so staple to middle schoolers they’d consider themselves naked without it. Just … eww.  Show that you have a shape beyond amorphous would you?

So it is official … I am turning into an ancient. A “thought-I-was-stylish-but-obviously-don’t-have-a-clue,” old lady whose begun shaking her head at the youths I cannot understand. I guess if what I’ve seen lately is what it takes to be “in-style,” I’m happy to fade into uncool status. Chances are I was never that cool to begin with, and my mirror lied to me as an adolescent, much as I am certain the mirrors are still lying today. 

Go look around, laugh, and let me know if you relate! Here’s to aging myself on purpose!  



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