“We can’t become what we need to be by remaining what we are.” – Oprah Winfrey
So today I am honored that my post is actually featured in Bella Grace Magazine’s Blog: Grace Notes! I hope that you will take time to click on the link and experience a bit of Bella! Thank you for going on this “field trip” with me!
Stay found,
Elle
Victor Hugo once said, “Melancholy is the pleasure of being sad.” I know it is a paradox, but I think he was really on to something there. Why do we like tragically, heart-wrenching movies? Why are so many classic novels somewhat desolate? Why does it feel like such a release after a good cry? Why do we like to remember broken relationships with a sort of sweet farewell? As Edgar Allan Poe penned it, “And so being young and dipped in folly, I fell in love with melancholy.”
As ironic as it seems, I don’t find that sitting just a little inside of this hushed, “lost-in-thought” attitude is all bad. Sometimes life has too much going on and happy can seem false, like florescent lighting on a grey day. As positive and optimistic as I am ninety-percent of the time, I’ve found that it is alright to let yourself embrace just a hint of blue space.
Caught in a moment of change … of in-between and loss and gain, I am wading in this pensive pool – just for today. Tomorrow I will be, “me” again, smiling and attempting to change the world, but right now? Melancholy fits me like my favorite pair of faded jeans, holed and worn … but necessary for the flaws I love. I hope you can find comfort in the middle places, and I hope this helps you understand that you don’t always have to know, sometimes you can just be.
Melancholy Beautiful
Melancholy.
It’s that thoughtful, in-between here and there place that cannot be pinpointed
(in-descript and mysterious).
In an age so demanding and decisive,
there is something quiet, and lovely about not always knowing:
… why you feel the way you feel …
… where you’re meant to go next …
… what you want … or don’t want …
… who you might decide to be.
Melancholy is that place between good and better that allows you to
pause –
to think –
to breathe –
to accept.
It isn’t fake; it isn’t false.
It isn’t anything other than pensive – allowing time for contemplation
rather that reaction.
Some of the most formative moments of my life were born out of this place,
where what at first seemed impossibly sad,
evolved into a beautiful memory.
Like the last day of summer,
the loss of first love,
or the pain of a final goodbye you can’t change.
It might not be easy.
It might not be comfortable.
But do not mistake it for sadness …
because melancholy can grow your emotions if you let it.
Pause.
Think.
Breathe.
Accept.
That melancholy really can
be beautiful.
Feel whatever you need to feel today.
All my love,
Elle
Believe it or not, life is built on little bits and pieces of memories, fragments of stories, and snippets of conversations that seem so important at the time, but that we fail to remember in our haste of everyday living. It is only when we are quiet with ourselves that we have the chance to let those precious fragments knit back together into things remembered and adored.
Sometimes I am afraid that my life is stuck on fast-forward. And I am dreadfully fearful of being one of the unfortunates who spend their aging years living their lives in retrospect. I don’t want to do that. I don’t want to be that version of “her.” Because I know that the “she” version of me is meant for much more than, “What could have been.”
The child poet prodigy, Kioni Marshall once said, “For I have no things to give my passion to but what I am now made of.” It begs the question, “What am I made of?” And whatever it is … is it enough?
What I don’t want for myself is sometimes so much easier to answer than what I do. I don’t want a life that is practical. Practicality tends to override possibility and that should never be the case. There should always be room for what ifs … for let’s pretends, and happily ever-afters. Life should be color-filled and laden with daydreams that enrich our reality. But this kind of perception is only possible with time – time you dedicate to you.
So let today be your start. Plan a date with yourself and imagine all the grand catching up you have to do. Post and tell me all about it.
Where will you go?
What time of day will you venture out?
Will you surround yourself and get lost in people-watching? Or will you find a quiet, remote place to fill your senses?
What will you eat, now that you’ve given yourself enough time to taste it?
What will you see, now that you can really take it in?
What complex issues might you begin to sort through?
Will you take pictures? Or will you document your day in poetic bits of prose stretched in lazy cursive loops?
Will you let yourself smile just because it feels good to let go?
Will you hold on to this version of yourself that you’ve missed?
Kurt Vonnegut once said, “We are what we pretend to be.” So just to be fabulous … let yourself pretend. Pretend on days when nothing is going the way it should have gone. Pretend when the world seems to be personally holding you hostage for everyone else’s bad choices. Pretend when you cannot bear to be the responsible one, the practical one, or the “adult” for one more minute. Pretend.
Pretend that every time you open your car door, an imaginary red carpet is rolled at your feet. Since paparazzi cannot wait to snap your iconic image, you must never leave your vehicle without your lipstick freshly applied.
Pretend that every buzzer sounding from the laundry room is really a bell from your wicked step-mother, and that Prince Charming really will save you one of these days. Until he does, adopt the Fairy Godmother’s advice, and get to bed before midnight pumpkin!
Pretend that every night, when dinnertime rolls around, and you can’t fathom what to make out of the last of your last groceries … you’re really on one of those cooking reality shows, and you’ve got thirty minutes to complete the challenge with unique ingredients. Spice it up with a pinch of sea salt and nothing can taste that bad.
Pretend that every onslaught of emails you receive, is actually fan-mail you need to reply to. And you’re just such the humble sort to reply to each and every one, not because you must, mind you, but because you want to.
Your turn! In the words of Taylor Swift, “Bring on all the pretenders.” What might you pretend in the following situations? Share your imagination and help us all reconnect with the delightful version of ourselves only we are lucky enough to see.
When you’re stuck in traffic …
When you’re at the receiving end of someone’s foul mood …
When you make a mistake at work …
When your romantic date doesn’t turn out …
When you are waiting in line …
When you have to run errands …
When it has rained for a week straight …
When you’re out of vacation days …
Any of your own suggested pretend scenarios of daily life turned dreamy?
Pretend along with me,
Elle
this quotable life 