A really good friend of mine is getting divorced. It is both as blunt and pointed as that. I think one of the hardest things is that this person is not one to whom anyone could say they, “saw it coming.” And every time I think about the hurt – I hurt. What’s more is that I’ve seen this fragile, tender soul fall in waves of believing what writer Tonya Hurley once said, “If you expect nothing, you can never be disappointed.”
But that’s no way to live – and it’s not the identity one is meant to claim. It is not what any of us should be made to deal with. We should have expectations. We should believe that love is what it says it is, and will stay simply because it promised it would.
As I’m learning, this is not so. Apparently, some love, when it is unrequited and given up on, does end. Leaning into this friendship in ways of support, and listening to broken stories I don’t understand, this poem came to me.
An analog relates to a mechanism that requires a voltage or pressure to perform; it seemed a weakened, but still beating heart applied. So this is for my friend, who knows above all things the proverbial truth that, “Hope dies last.” Let your heart beat on – weak, but steady. For someday it will be filled again. It will rise to the point of a great crescendo. It, like you, will carry on.
You – now equal parts ash and ice
who stumbles between the
purity of being tested in fire –
and the bitterest chill of indifference
You – beating fiercely as your
gears remain locked …
who feels the minutes pass –
hears every tick that slowly
yet sees no discernible change
You – built to race,
built to fill and turn keys of
crimson and scarlet –
doors closed long enough
for filaments of light to become dull
You – filled to fracture with
memory – this moment –
even if it is all you’re capable of –
… stay …
… endure …
beat one time,
and let the echo of once
remind you how to carry on again
Please share this with anyone whose heart is, or has been near to breaking. Remember that your strength only needs to last you this day, and somehow, miraculously, tomorrow you will find another way, another day, to carry on.
From my heart to yours,