9.22.19 Almost Perfect

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“I think in the heart of every human being there burns an ember of hope that warmly entices us to believe everything will eventually come together into one perfect day, and that potentially the hours in this day will stretch on indefinitely.” R.E. Goodrich

I don’t believe in perfect. I think perfect is something that only exists in heaven, fairy tales, and dreams … but I do believe in exceptionally, delightfully, spectacular days – where sunshine and sea salt exist in harmony with freckled noses and sandy smiles. Today was an extraordinary, not-so-ordinary day.

We decided to christen our new southern life with a trip to the beach. For two hours and fifty minutes on the way, we took turns proposing songs for our, “To the Beach” playlist. If the rating wasn’t an average of 9 for each of us, it didn’t make the cut. We got iced coffees and frappuccino’s, ate snacks and skipped lunch. The kids boarded with daddy, while I taught them the trick to avoid being smashed by a wave. My daughter and I took turns dancing with our shadows. My husband and son played frisbee in the waves, miraculously finding it on the beach regardless of the number of times they “lost” it to a swell. We got pizza on the way home and ate it in the car as our son slept, and our daughter played D.J. (She never sleeps.)

In the spirit of honesty, there were salt-in-our-eye moments, waves that made us tumble, back-seat bickers, front-seat bickers, sand-sand everywhere, beachy knots in beachy hair, and hustling home for our school-night shuffle.

But for a series of breezes, and burn-your-feet sand moments … today was a delicious taste of “almost” perfect.

 

9.15.19 Not So Uncomfortable Silence

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Sometimes there just aren’t words

to follow the impossible trail

that other words laid

or led

or left you in the wake of

They’re the kinds of phrases

that steal gravity

that haunt

and echo

and ring in your ears 

long after they’ve been spoken

Sometimes there’s just no response

worth responding to

no air left to fuel the err in judgement

when judgement was the culprit all along

Angry voices leading to choices 

that never should have been made

and cannot simply

be untangled

And it leaves one feeling tired

and worn thin

frayed to the point of fracture

looking 

and listening

and waiting for the world

to know better

to do better

to be better 

than we are or have been 

There may be no answer

and it just may be that IS the answer

s  p  a  c  e  

rest

patient non-reaction

a pause in the catalytic series of 

offenses

and pretenses

inflictions and inflections 

I believe love might lie in the very in-between

in the smallest pocketed places that 

logic

reasoning

and defensive response can’t reach

I think, tucked and tight –

barely whispered bits 

of hope

and have to

wait for a chance to fill

and swell

and break

the not so-uncomfortable silence

that should have spoken all along 

9.7.19 37 Already Wished and Answered

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“Wish on everything. Pink cars are good, especially old ones. And stars of course, first stars and shooting stars. Planes will do if they are the first light in the sky and look like stars. Wish in tunnels, holding your breath and lifting your feet off the ground. Birthday candles. Baby teeth.”
Francesca Lia Block

I believe in wishes … but what’s more … I believe in wishes that come true because, well – life! Is life and the living of it not a wish-come-true? Because every single day is a do-over, a do-better, a try-harder, a dream-bigger, and a chance to discover a finer rendering of your own superlative self!

Here, on the eve of my 37th birthday, I am captivated by the wonder of all the wishes of mine that have already come true. So on tomorrow’s set of candles … I just may send up a prayer of thanksgiving for all things already wished and answered.

  1. A husband I adore
  2. Two earth-dwelling children sent straight from heaven
  3. A mom and dad who are my #1 fans
  4. The perfect look-up-to-my-whole-life sister
  5. A cousin who’s closer than close
  6. Nieces and nephews galore!
  7. Best friends who’ve loved me forever
  8. New friends who want to invest in relationship
  9. Friends who live around the world, but somehow found me anyway
  10. Experiencing first love
  11. Healing from a broken heart, more than once, and finding who I was alone
  12. Getting proposed to in the most romantic way
  13. Receiving a second set of parents who are so much more to me than in-laws
  14. Walking on a green sand beach in Hawaii
  15. Meeting dolphins on an uncharted, drop-you-in-the-middle-of-the-ocean swim
  16. Holding a baby lion
  17. Discovering the wonder of literature and stealing time to read
  18. Having the time-of-my-life with my grandmother
  19. Having the honor to hold her before she traded this life for her next
  20. Becoming a dancer
  21. Having Lillies of the Valley in my wedding bouquet
  22. Owning our own home
  23. Getting lost in Italy
  24. Horseback riding in Umbria
  25. Climbing the Eiffel Tower
  26. Exploring the South of France
  27. Watching a Mediterranean sunset
  28. Coming home to a houseful of pets
  29. Becoming a teacher
  30. Getting a Master’s Degree
  31. Having students who still reach out to me
  32. Being told I made a difference in a life
  33. Building a relationship with my grandfather
  34. Writing for Bella Grace Magazine
  35. Having children’s books published and about-to-be published (Spring!)
  36. Waking up each day grateful to know God is holding my life in His hands
  37. Never having grown up or given up on the impossible possibility of dreaming

What wishes of yours have already come true? Words are my favorite gift … would you reply and tell me one of your best “already wished and answered?”

All my love and wishes,

Elle

9.1.19 The Cost of Hope

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“Sometimes I think I might be a bit of a naive optimist, a bit of a wishful thinker … In a world where light blinks out, where forecasts dim, I imagine that hope really might conquer all … if only a few more people looked for it.” – Elle Harris 

 

This quote is a small snippet of my newest piece in Bella Grace Magazine. Fresh to the local bookstore stands, this bookazine, as I’ve come to call her, is just stunning. From Autumn-crisp colors to inspiring quotes, photographs, and articles, I hope you’ll find half as much joy reading it as I did being one of the writers.

This piece in particular meant a great deal to me because I wrote it soon after the passing of my grandmother. I realize that being in my mid-thirties, I was lucky to even have her this long, but logic and the heart don’t always coincide. I miss her every day. And yet, just as the poem shows, life takes turns with our emotions. If my grandmother taught me anything, it is to pursue joy and hope at all cost … and if believing in hope costs you everything, well, then it is still well worth it.

I hope this fall season has you believing in the beauty and magic of this extraordinary, ordinary life.

All my love,

Elle