12.25.19 Light and Life

“Christmas is the day that holds all time together.” – Alexander Smith

I’ve really been trying to focus on the wonder and holy mystery that IS Christmas this year. I’ve been praying and searching and reflecting on what Christ really did … because without it … time itself would cease to hold relevance. In the rush to capture more, I so often lessen the gravity of two thousand years’ worth of majesty.

The very thought that the God of the universe … who holds time in the expanse of a web of stars, stretched himself into the confines of a life we could emulate and understand – overwhelms me. Jesus Christ is more than a symbol, and his life is the blueprint of salvation. Every small kindness, every simple act of love or expression of gratitude is a building block in the architectural design of God’s plan.

I wish everyone could know this truth, because it brings such peace … peace that transcends and lifts our spirits beyond our circumstances. This holiday season, regardless of what you believe or celebrate, I pray that you allow yourselves to embrace the reality that you matter. You are an ambassador of heaven itself as His creation, and it is your time in history to carry hope.

Love and light to you and all you hold dear, and may your new year be filled with opportunities to give and grow.

Elle

12.17.19 His Mommy

“Little boy, you remind me how so much depends on days made of now.”

― Allison McGhee

This is a picture of my son, sleeping on my lap on the bathroom floor. It was taken at three in the morning after a long, long night of battling a viciously-violent stomach bug. The evening began after eight hours at the theater where my daughter performed two plays … after my husband left on business … after my son’s party at youth group at 9:00 … after vomiting twice in the garage (so close to the grass … so close) … after cleaning and re-cleaning the garbage, the bathroom, the sink, the garbage again, the floor, the bathroom again … after laying down on a nearby sofa to jump up every ten minutes for hours.

After that, he fell asleep for the three hours remaining in my night. And yet, I have to say it was one of the most gracious blessings I’ve received in awhile, because in the midst of that chaos, my son … who is almost as tall as me … who almost weighs as much as me … who is months away from being a teenager … became the sweet little boy I try never to take for granted.

Between the spasms of sickness, these are just a few of his words.

“Mom, I’m sorry about the garage.”

“Thank you so much mom for being here.”

“Mom, I’m so sorry you have to clean up after me.”

“Mom, I won’t stay this way forever right?”

“I just want to feel good again. Thank you for staying with me.”

“Mom, you make me so happy.”

And as I watched that precious boy fall asleep on my lap, curled on a towel, covered in a blanket on the hard tile floor … I thought how blessed I was in the midst to be loved that much … that he found rest in my arms.

So as I swept and washed the garage … twice … as I jumped up to my alarm … twice … as I moved and removed, folded and unfolded my plans and my day … I remained in a state of gratitude for this boy, for his love, and for the privilege of being his mommy.

May you too know, or share, or give, or receive this love.

Elle

12.11.19 Being “Bella”

Being “Bella” is a state of being that I have embraced since the birth of Bella Grace. I have never been so fully captivated by a people group, perspective, or purpose than I am every time I hold these stories, poems, images, and emotions in my hands. Bella Grace has satisfied a longing within my writer’s spirit to contribute to a larger body of voices that empower, inspire, and protect dreamers such as me.

If you too have coveted being a part of a community … let this be your tribe. Join the writers, photographers, idealists, and storytellers. Join the relationships, romance, beauty, and promise of something magically beyond the scope of the everyday. There is a reawakening that happens when you belong to more than that which fills your days – overflow them with grace personified in pages.

This Bella Grace’s winter issue is as enchanting as the season itself. I’d love to hear your thoughts on my piece, “Winter’s Undoing.” Please drop me a line, as you, dear friends, have become some of my most precious.

All my love Bellas,

Elle

12.1.19 Words Chasing Me

I have so many stories

and so little time

between poetry, prose, 

free verse and rhyme

and the words swirl about me

in taunting black waves

teasing with hints

of both knights 

and of knaves

There are fantasies curled

beside harrowing tales

where history speaks

and true love never fails

in ink and on paper

in print and on screens

the characters speak to me

with or without means

And their stories

in whispers

trail over my mind

sometimes in fast-forward

and sometimes rewind

Most often I face them

with pen and with thought 

until I am weary 

and quite overwrought 

For who can keep up 

with ideas that flutter

that nip and that tag

that climb on and clutter

Who can tame dreams

who can silence a notion

especially ones 

that cause fervored emotion

Certainly not even fairy or muse

not anyone to whom 

the words simply choose

No rest for the writer 

time wrestles to claim

their sleep hours waking

to gather one’s name

no pause for the clause

phrase or run on that be … 

because I can’t ignore now

the words chasing me