12.17.19 His Mommy

Little boy, you remind me how so much depends on days made of now.”

― Allison McGhee

This is a picture of my son, sleeping on my lap on the bathroom floor. It was taken at three in the morning after a long, long night of battling a viciously-violent stomach bug. The evening began after eight hours at the theater where my daughter performed two plays … after my husband left on business … after my son’s party at youth group at 9:00 … after vomiting twice in the garage (so close to the grass … so close) … after cleaning and re-cleaning the garbage, the bathroom, the sink, the garbage again, the floor, the bathroom again … after laying down on a nearby sofa to jump up every ten minutes for hours.

After that, he fell asleep for the three hours remaining in my night. And yet, I have to say it was one of the most gracious blessings I’ve received in awhile, because in the midst of that chaos, my son … who is almost as tall as me … who almost weighs as much as me … who is months away from being a teenager … became the sweet little boy I try never to take for granted.

Between the spasms of sickness, these are just a few of his words.

“Mom, I’m sorry about the garage.”

“Thank you so much mom for being here.”

“Mom, I’m so sorry you have to clean up after me.”

“Mom, I won’t stay this way forever right?”

“I just want to feel good again. Thank you for staying with me.”

“Mom, you make me so happy.”

And as I watched that precious boy fall asleep on my lap, curled on a towel, covered in a blanket on the hard tile floor … I thought how blessed I was in the midst to be loved that much … that he found rest in my arms.

So as I swept and washed the garage … twice … as I jumped up to my alarm … twice … as I moved and removed, folded and unfolded my plans and my day … I remained in a state of gratitude for this boy, for his love, and for the privilege of being his mommy.

May you too know, or share, or give, or receive this love.

Elle

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