9.19.21 You Will Rise

” … If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
    Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
    And stoop and build ’em up with worn-out tools …”

– Rudyard Kipling, “If”

This week, a precious friend confided the difficult reality that sometimes, life hurts. Right now – her pain is acute. And although no one goes through this existence completely unscathed, there are times that will shake you to the point of an internal tremble. I’ve been thinking about her all week. Praying for her. And while I hate that I cannot fix it, I want her to know … I want you all to know, that Hope is an ever-present promise, even when all else fails. I wish I could take away the trials, but for the time being, all I have to offer is a small collection of words I gathered in the midst of this trial. May they bring you back to a point of knowing this is not the end of the world’s story … or of yours.

Life isn’t always what it seems

what you thought it was,

would, or even should be

Sometimes, when the clouds come

they stay

stagnant and unforgiving

relentless and roiling

In the dark, the questions come

doubts intermingling with leftover pieces of dreams …

as though everything you thought you knew to be true

is backwards, a broken, mirrored reflection of what it once was

sharp shards revealing every tear

Even then … in the moments where Destiny feels defective

and reality is rent with defeat,

even then there is light

Fractured bits of faith remain as glittered dust among the debris

incapable of being gathered and disposed of fully

Just as embers might once again be fanned into flame

Credence is worthy of reflection

And while chaos is deafening –

Hope speaks in constant whispers beneath it all …

a steady undercurrent, present below the pain

What is anguish but an inverse reaction to love?

What is devastation if not proof that devotion was present?

So be angry dear heart,

there is room in this space to be angry.

Be sad if you must,

there is room in this space to be sad.

Ask questions, have doubts, be aware of the darkness …

because I know,

even if you don’t –

even if you can’t –

that you are made of stardust and promises …

and your heart is branded with infallible truths

This life has no claim over that which is eternal

You may be shaken but you are not shattered

You might well have fallen, only to prove

once again

you will rise

9.6.21 *39 Wishes

I am two days away from my 39th birthday … and as always happens near this turn of season and year, I am reflective and grateful for another twirl about the sun. My mom always says that you have as many wishes as you do candles, so I thought I’d share a few with you – because I believe in blessings, not luck … so I have full confidence that sharing them might actually help them come true. I’d love to know some of your wishes too!

1. I wish to be as brave as my husband.
2. I wish to be as kind as my son.
3. I wish to be as magical as my daughter.
4. I wish to be as encouraging as my mom.
5. I wish to be as selfless as my sister.
6. I wish to have as much integrity as my dad.
7. I wish to love as unconditionally as my pets love me.
8. I wish to be the kind of friend who’s trusted enough for the 3:00 AM phone calls.
9. I wish to be as curious as my students.
10. I wish to be as wonder-filled as my nieces and nephews.
11. I wish to never stop learning new things.
12. I wish to see rain and have the urge to dance.
13. I wish to hear the wind and understand its secrets.
14. I wish to explore.
15. I wish to be in the right place at the right time for the right person.
16. I wish to be given the right words to comfort anyone who needs to hear them.
17. I wish to know fluently the language of empathy.
18. I wish to help, and have the grace to let others help me in return.
19. I wish to remember my dreams after waking up.
20. I wish to never let fear take hold.
21. I wish to have thousands of more days where I laugh until it hurts.
22. I wish to never lose touch with the majesty of nature.
23. I wish to let ordinary moments take my breath away.
24. I wish to be an example of faith in action.
25. I wish to always know the grace of being humble.
26. I wish to forgive myself as easily as others forgive me.
27. I wish my children to know (without a doubt) that they always came first.
28. I wish to forever choose whimsy over reality.
29. I wish everyone I speak with to feel cared for and comfortable.
30. I wish to be more in tune with the voice of heaven.
31. I wish for my memory to be clear and long.
32. I wish for my anxieties to be fleeting.
33. I wish to know and be known.
34. I wish to remain in tune with my inner child.
35. I wish to always be helpful.
36. I wish for days filled with contemplation of hummingbirds.
37. I wish to see the best in every person and place.
38. I wish to understand God’s definition of love and peace.
39. I wish to place golden moments in tiny glass boxes to treasure.